[ Attention: Strong sense of humor required, before commencing reading this article ]
In an age where vanity has reached new zeniths and pianists want to grasp the essence of pianism in quick fashion, I made the greatest discovery of pianokind.
In a ‘eurika’ moment I found how to become a great pianist in just a minute.
But before going into detail, I just want to share a few thoughts on the thousands of pianists that practised hard and sincerely only to now be amazed by this discovery.
They’ve spent years practising and rehearsing, trying to play fast and loud, to no avail. If only they knew…
If only they had stopped and think, instead of aimlessly practising geeky composers’ pompous offsprings and other competitive banalities.
They never spent a minute to think, or a minute to reflect. That minute could have saved their dreams.
However, it’s my “minute” that is going to shine; it’s my minute that is going to save the day, once again.
So, pay attention. Forget about musicological research, structural analysis, philosophical evenings with cheese and wine or good old piano practising. Everything is going to be accomplished in just a minute.
So, here’s how you are going to become a great pianist in just a minute. It is a very simple trick:
First, you need to build a time machine.
Now, I am a piano teacher, so I sincerely apologize if I cannot provide you with detailed instructions on how to build a time machine. If by any chance you don’t know how to build one by yourself, here’s what to do: Ask somebody else to built it for you. Simple. That’s the easiest way, with the added advantage that you can concentrate on your other musical activities during the building process.
Now, after the time machine is ready, you only need to go back in time 20 years. Then you practice as much as you can. The good thing is that you will still have the knowledge that you currently possess in the past, so you don’t have to re-learn things.
After you become a great pianist, the only thing that you have to do is to set the time machine back to the present time, and you ready. You will be regarded as a great pianist!
Did you see how simple it was?